William Massa on Tue, 13 Jul 1999 09:07:27 -0400 (EDT)


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[Plug] Source Code To Windows 98


"Source Code To Windows 98" (programmer humor)

          /*  Source Code to Windows 98   */

           #include "win31.h"
           #include "win95.h"
           #include "evenmore.h"
           #include "oldstuff.h"
           #include "billrulz.h"
           #include "monopoly.h"
           #define INSTALL = HARD

           char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
           void main()
           {
               while(!CRASHED)
               {
                   display_copyright_message();
                   display_bill_rules_message();
                   do_nothing_loop();
                   if (first_time_installation)
                   {
                       make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
                       do_nothing_loop();
                       totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
                       search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
                       search_and_destroy_linux();
                       disable_Netscape();
                       disable_RealPlayer();
                       disable_Corel_Products();
                       hang_system();
                   }

                   write_something(anything);
                   display_copyright_message();
                   do_nothing_loop();
                   do_some_stuff();

                   if (still_not_crashed)
                   {
                       display_copyright_message();
                       do_nothing_loop();
                       basically_run_windows_3.1();
                       do_nothing_loop();
                       do_nothing_loop();
                   }
               }

               if (detect_cache())
                   disable_cache();

               if (fast_cpu())
               {
                    set_wait_states(lots);
                    set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
                    set_mouse(action, jumpy);
                    set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
               }

               /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
               /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
               printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
               if (system_ok())
                   crash(to_dos_prompt)
               else
                   system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

               while(something)
               {
                   sleep(5);
                   get_user_input();
                   sleep(5);
                   act_on_user_input();
                   sleep(5);
                   check_for_and_screw_up_lilo();
               }
               create_general_protection_fault();
           }


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