[PLUG] Hey Baby, Nice Tux (OT, but involves penguins and sex)

[Beldon Dominello <beldon@speakeasy.org>]

 Oh sure, they dress sharp, but penguins ain't the players they would appear 
to be. No, despite their fancy get-ups, our flightless feathered friends are 
generally quite chaste - totally monogamous, in fact, once they pick a mate. 
Well, that is, unless you put 'em in an aquarium full of hotties - then all 
hell breaks loose. 
     Story goes like this: ever since the New York Aquarium started giving 
newly laid penguin eggs away to other aquariums, the penguin population has 
gone all lopsided, with twenty-two males in the current crop, compared to 
only ten females. And now - well, what would you do if you were one of those 
lady birds? That's right - according to a report in the New York Daily News, 
the female black-footed penguins have begun sleeping around to an alarming 
degree: "Some of them share time with as many as three or four males in a 
day," as aquarium caretaker Gina Fisher tells the paper. ("Share time"? Is 
that what the kids are calling it these days?) Fisher says one penguin in 
particular - Gomez is her name - has strayed completely from her live-in 
lover of three years, Giovanni. "She'll approach [male penguins'] nests and 
they'll start . . . prancing around and puffing up, showing their interest." 
("Interest"? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?) "Then one 
thing leads to another . . . " - and quicker than you can say "porn in 
Afghanistan," penguin society's in tatters. 
     And then there's Wendell and Cass, a pair of fifteen-year-old gay 
penguins (no kiddin') who've lived together for nearly a decade. "They are 
totally devoted to each other," says Fisher. "They never leave each other's 
side, and have the neatest nest in the colony." Naturally. 

-- 
Shamelessly lifted from the pages of www.nerve.com.

 

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