Re: new member plans to come Monday (fwd)

[mjd-perl-pm@plover.com]

> Another great Philly-related sports moment...at an Eagles game (don't think
> it was the same one where Santa was booed) something like 100 people were
> arrested for pelting the players, officials, and each other with snowballs.
> The Daily News caught then mayorial candidate Ed Rendell paying a seatmate
> $10 to try to nail a ref with a slushball.

That was the Inquirer.  It showed up in Steve Lopez's column, probably
my favorite Steve Lopez column ever:

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                           TRUE CONFESSIONS

    Call it intuition.  Call it instinct.  When the city was
embarrassed two weeks ago in the famous Snow Bowl in Veterans Stadium,
something told me a local politician had to have had a hand in it.

    Think about it, folks.  A nationally televised debacle.  A
complete and total lack of class.

    Use your head.

    And so, before 65,000 fans file into nonalcoholic Veterans Stadium
today to watch the Eagles play the Cardinals, I'd like to tell you one
more story about the famous Eagles-Cowboys Snow Bowl.

    Have you guessed the politician?

    Using telepathy, I count 478,000 votes for Councilman Fran Rafferty.

    Wrong.

    Hey, I was disappointed too.

    All right, I'm going to turn the story over to Eric Brosz, a
paving contractor and a season ticket holder from Worcester,
Montgomery County.  He was sitting in Row 2600 level north side,
50-yard line.

    "At the start of the game, well, there's four guys in front of us,
they came in drunk, they each had cans of Budweiser, and during the
moment of silence for Doug Scovil [the Eagles coach who had died],
they started spelling out EAGLES."

    The hooligans mocked the national anthem.  They insulted everyone
who walked by.  One of them puked before halftime.  And in the fourth
quarter they started throwing snowballs.

    No.  They weren't politicians.

    The politician was on their left, wearing a powder blue ski cap
that said Finland on it.  Brosz heard the hooligans refer to him once
or twice as Ed.  He looked closer.

    Ed Rendell.

    You know him.  Former district attorney, perennial candidate.  Ran
for governor.  Ran for mayor.

    Brosz says that snowball throwing got nastier.  One of the four
rowdies his No. 15 for the Cowboys.

    "Right between the shoulder blades," says Brosz, who started
looking around for security guards.

    He couldn't find anybody.  But he thought Rendell, the city's
former chief law enforcement official, might take action.

    He did.

    "Rendell says to this one guy, 'I'll be you $20 you can't reach
the field.'  I couldn't believe it."

    So the guy loads a good one.  He winds up, lets it rip.  A
    howitzer.

    "It lands at the feet of the back judge---the same referee who got
hit in the head earlier," Brosz says.

    "Rendell pulls out his wallet, rips out a $20, and pays the guy."

    I called Rendell.

    Were you at the game?  Yes.  First row, 600 level?  Yes.  Wearing
a powder blue Finland cap?  Yes.

    Did you bet a guy $20 he couldn't reach the field with a snowball?

    "No."

    No such thing?

    "No.  I was trying to talk guys out of throwing snowballs."

    Rendell said I could ask the guy he was with.  Attorney Cliff
    Haines.

    I left a message for Haines, but I pretty much gave up on the
story.  Somebody was lying, but how could I know who?

    An hour later the phone rang.

    "Steve, Ed Rendell again."

    He just called to say he'd lied.

    I swallowed some teeth, but maintained my composure.

    He said he got to thinking.  He felt like a hypocrite.  He had to
call.

    "I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth originally."

    Hey, no harm done.  I mean it.  Rendell said he thought if the guy
got $20 he might stop throwing snowballs.

    Maybe it's good he isn't mayor or governor.  Can you imagine him
in contract negotiations?

    "What I did was stupid.  To say 'I bet you can't reach the field,"
maybe in some small way, encouraged them."

    Former D.A.  Ran for Governor.

    Rendell asked whether I'd talked to Haines.  No, I said.

    "If he calls you back, I'm sure he'll lie for me.  He's the finest
lawyer in Philadelphia.  No way you'll get him to tell you the truth."

    I'm not making this up.  We said goodbye.  The phone rang.  Cliff Haines.

    This is easier than opening Christmas presents.

    Were you at the game, Cliff?  Yes.  The 600 level with Ed Rendell?
Yes.  Did Ed bet some guy $20 he couldn't reach the field with a snowball?

    "No."

    OK, pop quiz.  Was former D.A. Ed Rendell's worst mistake to (A)
bet a drunken hooligan he couldn't reach the field, (B) lie about it,
(C) confess, or (D) take his friend down with him?

    My vote is (C).  Too honest.  Why do you think he can't win an election?

    I said it before.  I'll say it again.

    Is this a great city or what?

----------------------------------------------------------------

That's from _Land of Giants: Where no Good Deed Goes Unpunished_, a
collection of Steve Lopez's columns from the Philadelphia Inquirer.
It's $11.95 from Camino Books, Inc., ISBN 0-940159-30-9, and highly
recommended by me.

Are we off-topic yet?

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