adam on Sat, 8 Jan 2000 13:21:32 -0500 (EST)


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Re: [PLUG] ISP


This is a reference to Monty Python's Quest
for the Holy Grail.  Perhaps you would like to 
go rent it. :)

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn! 
BEDEMIR: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one. 
BEDEMIR: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEMIR: But you are dressed as one. 
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't... no.
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one. 
BEDEMIR: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose. 
BEDEMIR: The nose?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
BEDEMIR: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt. 
BEDEMIR: A newt?
VILLAGER #3: I got better. 
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch. 
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
BEDEMIR: Tell me, what do you do with witches? 
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEMIR: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEMIR: So, why do witches burn? [pause]
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...? 
BEDEMIR: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEMIR: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEMIR: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah. 
BEDEMIR: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no. 
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond! 
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEMIR: What also floats in water? 
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples! 
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks! 
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy! 
VILLAGER #1: Cherries! 
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches! 
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!
ARTHUR: A duck. 
CROWD: Oooh. 
BEDEMIR: Exactly! So, logically...,
VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.
BEDEMIR: And therefore--? 
VILLAGER #1: A witch! 
CROWD: A witch!
BEDEMIR: We shall use my larger scales! [yelling]
BEDEMIR: Right, remove the supports! [whop] [creak]
CROWD: A witch! A witch! 
WITCH: It's a fair cop.
CROWD: Burn her! Burn! [yelling]

On Fri, 7 Jan 2000, Bill Jonas wrote:

> > p.s. DCANet also weighs the same as a duck.
> 
> I don't get it...  maybe I'm dense, but could you explain?
> 
> Bill
> 
> --
> "Because they know that all they sold you was a guaranteed POS!  Look, if
> you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it 'guaranteed', I will.  I got
> spare time."
>  -Chris Farley on Microsoft, _Tommy Boy_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _______________________________________________
> PLUG maillist  -  PLUG@lists.nothinbut.net
> http://lists.nothinbut.net/mail/listinfo/plug
> 


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